Notes From the Booby Hatch

I began my proper Gelato education many years ago in Vancouver, at a spot known to a few locals. Tucked in beside a railway siding in what can kindly be called an "emerging area" La Casa Gelato is an Alladin's Cave of gelato. They advertise 218 flavours at any given time, but have over 500 under their belt. Special flavours are brought out seasonally. Around St Patrick's Day, you'll find Guinness gelato. Catering to the large Asian community, you will find flavours like Purple Yam, Lychee, Garlic and Ginger, Akbar Mashti and dozens of others. Since they encourage you to taste many samples, a visit to LCG is a fun trip - when it's not totally packed!

  

If LCG gave me a Bachelor's degree with honours, Italy was a Master's course in gelato snarffling. The quality and the range of flavours were magnificent.

All this to say that I fancy myself as somewhat informed in matters gelatan. So imagine my surprise this weekend to find that there was breaking international news on the subject of ice cream! From Covent Garden, London - a fun hangout - comes news of ice cream made from breast milk. HUMAN breast milk.

Truly. Flavoured with vanilla and lemon zest, this confection is served in a martini glass for £14 per scoop and is called Baby GaGa. While sole source at present (thank you, Victoria Hiley) another dozen or so women are thinking of becoming suppliers. Until then, the demand is exceeding the supply.

I have to admit, I'm not impressed by the name. Can't they do better than Baby GaGa? Whose boob idea was that? If they were looking to make a statement, wouldn't their first flavour be Melon? (No, YOU grow up!!!)

Ben and Jerry's apparently turned down a similar opportunity when suggested by PETA a few years back. Pity. 

What flavours will be churned out when there is a big enough herd? 

Nipple Ripple?

I've Got a Lovely Pair (of) Coconut?

Rack 'O Rolo?

Pointer Sisters Sorbet?

Knocker Nut Fudge?

My Eyes Are Up Here Heavenly Hash?

Hazelnut Headlights?

Toffee Nut Twins?

Lame, I agree. My vote would have to go to Dulce La Leche League.

I have a feeling, based on a long-ago marketing course and some personal knowledge of the current market, that the most popular flavour, regardless of content, would simply be called Boobs. 

I must say, I am a little alarmed by the possibility they could broaden their base to include Banana Splits. You would definitely have to get a room.

Just Shoot Me Now

Preferably with whipped cream.

I know when I'm beat. And I'm beat.

Oh, yeah, the bike's had some use, and will have more. But I'm tripping over Gelato everywhere I go.

There's an authentic-looking Gelato place mid-town, as I discovered when I had an errand around the corner. I kinda knew it was there but had never been in before. I thought I could continue to avoid the place with a clever system of left turns and a well-placed visor but in the end there was nowhere else to park - and this was too tempting!

Unfortunately, they have a selection of handy styrofoam take-out containers. 

The rather steep price includes gift wrapping.  Not necessary, my friends - you had me at 'ciao.'

I chose a nostaligic selection of hazelnut, dark chocolate and strawberry. The hazelnut was best and all were very good, although the strawberry will be better when they are in season.

I thought I could avoid future temptation simply by staying away from il gelatiere, but even the grocery stores aren't safe. Seems every one I visit is stocking Gelato Fresco now, which used to be pretty hard to find. They have some amazing flavours, including a really good hazelnut, a killer chocolate raspberry, and a Devil's Chocolate that lives up to its name. Arrghhh!

This is not going to end well! Nom nom nom nom nom...